Was rather upset with my uncle! He made me cried. Uncle and aunty said that i am not mature, need to grow up. Yea, i cant deny that i need to grow up. However, if everyday people say to you almost everyday, how do you feel? I felt that they dont trust me, if they nag at me almost daily, how to have room to grow. Now i understood the feeling of giving people space to grow and trust them. We are to nuture people and not to control them. I realized that i made this mistake of controlling people and not nuture them in the past. Thank God that you forgave me.
Wow, when come to me forgiving people, i just think of the hurts i have from them. Sure, its easy to dislike people and hate them. Have to be careful in our thoughts, if not hatred,dislike, things negative can come in. Well, candace reminded me that when you dislike someone means you dont not love God enough. But i do love God, well i have not go deep enough to his love. I will keep trying to grow, to obey. But i am not going to use my own effort only. God, I am coming to you vulnerable- with a need and a honest heart- I am rebellious etc, uncle and aunty disliked my attitude.. God help me! pls!
For now, i am going to forgive my uncle and aunty. Through these, i realized that communciation is super important. sometimes, seriously i found my intentions, thoughts and comments good. But, the tone to deliver was bad and it leads to anger, miscommunication, mistrust etc.
God, in my mist of trying, let me not be tired in doing good and to give up. I am going to perserve so that my faith will increase and the growth of my character. But God, please dont test beyond my limit. Through my weakness, it proves my reliance to God but this doesnt demerit who i am. I am a wonderful creation of God.
There's one prayer that i learnt that i need to make everyday- God, i know that it is the truth that I am wonderfully and fearfully made by you and you love me deeply. There is nothing else to make you love me more or less. Lord, let me not know this truth, but understand it and internalize it into my heart and let all the lies telling me that i am not good enough to flee in your name, Jesus Christ!! Lord, i am being pursue by you daily and i am a princess. :)
